Random thoughts (after a long time)(Edgy Shopping)

 

 

 

 

 

We should always be thankful to our parents for everything they have done esp our divine mothers.

I want to Thank my Parents too, for educating me, not only this but in a boys school. Yep, guys it is so good and effective. It always spark my synapses when I observe it now in here.

(let’s not squabble over it. )

I think we should spill out whatever our mind reasoned to be good, and I am happy and really get inspired and charged  to see most of my friends’ post here on wp, I would like to keep their company of their  beautiful minds they have. Honestly, I don’t want to get burden what seems gibberish to me because I don’t want my brain to trigger hypothalamus for any type of chemical messengers that is not required. You know,  these messenger remains in blood for longer duration.

Therefore it is always said keep good and righteous company.

(please it’s not at all meant to be serious. It’s just a light hearted comical post.)

Shopping with a girl is generally considered boring , I am getting into this topic in a comical way, (I don’t have any girlfriend(s)  according to the definition of 2017 standard, I have some class mates who are boys and girls and they are all my friends. That’s it. Being simple and straightforward.  ).

I have one doctorly sister with me, she likes shopping and since she is somewhat like me (somewhat, because I am a considered as a veggie in the world of non vegs, and she uses canine very often, if this quantity of non ‘veginess’   is calculated with respect to pH value then she would be HCl and I would be acetic acid).

Firstly, I would request her in the auto or a cab,

“No, api, please don’t ever, ever step  in a cosmetic shop, ”

(Such a conundrum it is,  of already beautiful faces to get even more beautiful, sometimes I feel I should ask that guy abruptly moving his brushes, moving his lips simultaneously , I have observed strangely that there is only one makeup man among all the female beauticians, I want to ask him how is he managing it ?).

(let’s jump in the conversations)

crazy-adrenaline-gifs-20

” Don’t worry, Not this time “. She said .

I would just roam here and there checking and trying new arrivals in different outlets,  whilst she get some girly clothes, the real problem comes in when she text  me,

” please come to pentaloons womens “, she messaged me.

” Count 1- 10″,  i texted back.

Amidst clearing the crowd of women chiefly, sometimes my tongue gets twisted saying the word, ‘excuse me’, sometimes I hear weird phonics of ‘excuse me’  .

(Delhi population  proves that India is among the world’s most populated countries)

(“excuse me, axe – cuseme*, squez…)

(*for some people the letter ‘e’ is non existent, it does not exist, for eg in the word  pen ‘e’ is not there instead it’s  ‘a’ its not ‘ee’,  fraanship its not ‘friendship’, they hate ‘e’).

Guys if your tongue ever get twisted saying “excuse me” , (seriously) quickly switch to “side please”, let them judge your English standard, it does not matter in the land of exceptional diversity .

(There are varieties of accent here, I will touch(very  softly) this topic in the near future, InshaAllah. Some of them of are so Phunny, lol, see,)

Reaching the spot, I noticed she is so engrossed in the clothes, and swimming in the pool clothes like how  Uncle Schulze swims in the pool of coins.

(I really pity that “bhaiya”,  try to understand the emotions guys,  the whole day every other girl is calling him “bhaiya” I wonder how many of the foreigners call the helpers as ‘brothers’? I feel,  like Indian smart girls they  should too adopt the concept of brother zoning.) 

I feel  I should be felicitated, I  really have done justice in choosing the apt dresses she wanted, along with proper reasoning/logic.

“this!  you will be wearing in your class,so get a dark colour one, since it would absorb and radiate heat more quickly ”

” the second one is green, it’s dark, I think light green or more preferably apple green would justify you, so I think you better should not get this one, since haste make a waste, you have been telling me since my foetal days”

“Remember”

The plausible  candidates(generally females who are stranded in the sea of clothes)  nearby are candidly looking at me. May be they want some help,  since I am very helpful invigilator.(Next time if someone looks at me candidly i would ask that if they need some assistance. “May i help you”)

It’s time for confusing her and through her all my listener, I should  try my best to woo all my listeners nearby, since they have an ear(actually a pair)  which can perceive sound vibration involuntarily.

“but you know api, no body would get this since I feel like, vibes you know!! ,  you should have it because it would be out the would, since what’s in colour green, “.

“oh tell me whats so special about the colour green”

In a quizzical way,  ” yeah, I guess, hmmm, green is ever green”.

“I am so proud of you”

With all the humdrum chit chats, finally two or three dresses are taken into custody. I know, she knows all my tantrums, but it’s quite fun when she plays along with me, we have our strange ways.

Now, finally I am free, she seems exhausted,and the utter annoyed face is observable to me .

“Ah, “I sighed a sense of relief, we are not going to the depressing make up shops with having what seems to me the ” weapons” .

“Madam,” a L’Oreal representative called recognising her, along with pack of these wolves of representatives of different companies maac, Maybelline etc. ready with their weapons in hand.

Oh no, how can I stop this sound waves I could see the wave pattern transversing at the speed of 320 m/s, wish I was the “flash”. The “Madam” timbre  is recognised by her brain and stimulus is given to legs to March towards the shop.

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“Oh, no, shit”.  I murmured.

“Again!!!, I am going home  “. I sounded a bit demanding.

” ok,  go “. She left me marching towards  the various outlets.

Whilst I stood scorning the pack of wolves. And sat down on the seat at the corner, relishing my self along with my phone. I pity my sister, they would fool and extort money from my innocent sister.

 

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Random thoughts, another one. 

#funnyblogs yet again, another one.  

(tea test, how to make  tea?  , some random thoughts, and a random poem.  )

Another one.

Hey,

My dear brothers and sisss,…..

And their sisters. 😁😁😁

Mera pyare bhaiyo and pyare bhaiyo ki bheno.😁😁

How are you all?.

Do you hate me?

But I love you.

(brothers don’t mind please). 

So let’s get started.

What I am thinking to do in this weekend,🤔🤔🤔

 do you wanna come and hangout with me? , but kharcha tumko karna hoga, paisa nahi yaar. Samjha Karo. Gareebi h abhi. 

(Just kidding lol)

I am an android user, how many of you use iPhone, I guess most of you all use iPhone as a daily driver.

I am currently using Mi5, 32gb.

Benefit of an iPhone, you got an apple.

Most of the Indian government employees get one month salary equivalent to your iPhone’s MRP, or even less. Trust me, so if your flaunting in the public in India , remember someone may be cursing you in their hearts.

So, see I just informed you , get one kilogram apple and gift someone who does not have apples.

I love tea, in India, people would judge you on the basis of your tea.

Not getting it.

See,  for eg, I visited your house, and you served me a cup of tea. Here is the test,

If you leave just like that, you get straight away F, (failed the test). 

Now, I will see right through your eyes holding the cup ready to kiss, (not you😂😂😂😂) but the cup.

 Galloping as the  sip of tea entering my mouth touching the taste bud and depolarising the sensory neorons  eventually reaching the stomach via oesophagus, by the time information has been prosessed and kudos the synapse for a good tea has been triggered, 😎😎😎😎

congratulating you. You passed the test. 

You Received  a wide smile as an accolade. Yay. 😁😁😁

BTW

It’s very easy to make Indian tea in India style . (it’s for my beautiful foreigner friends)

Welcome to cooking with Aquib, the great chef of India. Lol.

Rush to an Indian store grab a ‘Tata tea gold’ or some tea packets, not a tea maker bag remember, then it would be not so Indian.

Boil milk on high flame,  a cup of milk, keep boiling for 175.0005 seconds. Keep an atomic watch with that precision and least count for at least upto three decimal place. Lol

So, now you don’t have to do anything.

But one thing, 😀😀😀😀

Add one table spoon of tea grains and a half more (yes) , not ‘table’ but a desk spoon of tea, because I have only  desks, I am not racist,  I must acknowledge desk, chair etc.

Please don’t set your home on fire, if you did don’t blame me,Please, I am not responsible. Ok

Now, after adding tea grains  add sugar and a bit of water at least half of 1/4 of the cup that you used. 

Now boil, keep boiling until all the molecules start resonating, 

Thats it. 

This is how I make tea. Enjoy

Enjoy it with  cookies.

An unknown, Random poem

That I wrote during the world wars.

(*blasphemous not blasphemy, this poem needs some minor corrections, I apologize)  

keep smiling

Your friendly neighbourhood

Aquib.